Eat REAL Challenge, Recess, and Chocolate Treats

Can it be true? An actual blog post?

Yeeesh. Sorry, kids, it’s been too long. I have a list of excellent excuses, but excuses are for party poopers. Let’s move on to the news from the last month or so, shall we?

1. StrengthBox and Recess! have merged and become one and the same… the inimitable Death Track Dolls are continuing to kick ass and take names, and recently mopped the floor with the Venus Fly Tramps (check out some fantastic bout footage here). I credit burpees, of course.

2. I made these:

Paleo. Peppermint. Patties. (I consider very very dark chocolate to be Paleo. So shoot me.) Yes, you read that right. I modified this recipe from Elana’s Pantry slightly (sub 2 tablespoons of honey for the 1/4 cup agave nectar, sub unsweetened or 90% Cocoa Camino baking chocolate for the 73% chocolate, more peppermint oil to taste, and for half the batch I added a bunch of finely shredded coconut and vanilla instead of peppermint to make a “Mounds” style treat).

3. The StrengthBox Eat REAL Challenge is wrapping up this Saturday! We’ll be repeating the baseline workout to see who’s moving faster and feeling stronger… which StrengthBoxer and which Doll will take home the ultimate prize (one month of FREE unlimited group training at StrengthBox)? Stay tuned for updates!

This month has been full, busy, and completely amazingballs (my new favorite word), and next month will be even better.

Cheat on Your Cheats

Why do people cheat? Whether it’s on their diets, on exams, on partners… it’s likely because they’re not getting what they want or need (yumminess, good grades, emotional support). So if you’re eating clean but the sugar beast has you in its grasp and you just… can’t… resist… consider this:

Eating treats does some wackadoo chemical things to your brain. It feels good. Serotonin happiness, brief energy boost, etc. You know this, you know your craving is probably based in something other than hunger. Are you bored, and munching is something to pass the time? Are you tired and feel like you need a little pick-me-up? Get this: you can cheat your cheat. You can get EXACTLY the same chemical payoff by way of an endorphin rush by moving your body.

I know, I know, it sounds less fun and more effort-ful to move around than to chow down the chocolate… but try this for a week. Whenever you find yourself reaching for comfort by way of snacks -

(Side note: I’m not talking about when you’re hungry. When you’re hungry, eat real food.)

- whenever you’re heading down the mindless munching path, set a timer for 10 minutes and DO SOMETHING ELSE. Burpees, pushups, squats, high knees running, jumping jacks, any combination of any series of movements you can think of as long as it makes you huff and puff. Work up a little sweat. Then if you still want the comfort-y food, eat it. I bet it’ll be easier to walk away once you’ve fulfilled your own need for endorphins.

Bonus: you get to walk around feeling all high-and-mighty when you’ve defeated the cheat-monster. You get to be “that guy”, telling your friends how you avoided the cookie by doing pushups. You get to watch your friends slowly back away. Then two weeks later when they ask why you’re looking so freaking awesome, you get to say “remember, the pushups and the cookie and and and?” and then you get to say “I TOLD YOU SO!” which is sweeter than any damn cookie.

Fear, Failure, Bonus Exciting Cliffhanger

Fear is no fun. As adults, we encounter fear surrounding financial security, social acceptance… Rarely does it take the form of “if I jump across this 7 foot pit, will I make it?”

I recommend making a date with this brand of fear. It has the potential to reveal things to you about yourself that maybe you’ve been sitting on. If you don’t commit to the jump, you won’t make it. You have to decide before you leap that you’re going to land safely on the other side. In fact, it’s not enough to just decide this, you have to know it. Also, strong ankles help with the landing part.

Kids are fearless about climbing, running, falling down, but I think part of that fearlessness comes from repeated exposure to climbing, running, and falling down. The more times you fall down and it doesn’t end the world, the less freaked out you’ll be about falling again. Climbing becomes less scary as you gain confidence in your grip and coordination. I hate climbing. It makes me all sweaty and shaky and unsure. But if I keep doing it, that fear will recede as my skill grows, and then there will be more room for the fun.

I’m keeping this in mind as I lay Project Svelte to rest for the moment… the first days of shooting have come and gone on the film I was preparing for, and lo and behold I am not the lean mean fighting machine I’d hoped to become by  now. In fact, I gained two pounds. What?? I know. I was just as shocked as you. “But… meat and veg and healthy fat… ketogenic diet… low carb is the answer… fasted metcons… how the hell did you screw it up??”

Gather round, kids. Here’s what happened:

• I know I said I wouldn’t, but I got hungry. Being hungry is a fact of Intermittent Fasting, and there’s nothing wrong with experiencing some hunger from time to time. I actually think it’s a good idea to feel hungry sometimes… but I got hungry and then didn’t eat enough of the good stuff to satisfy. I ate moderate amounts of meat and veg and fat, and then when I was still hungry I didn’t eat more meat and veg and fat, I turned to sugar. I’m not sure how the disconnect happened, but my brain decided that protein wasn’t doing the trick and that the answer to life, the universe, and everything lay in a foil wrapper with the words “Green & Black’s” printed on the outside.
• I didn’t sit down for meals. This is partly because eating with a 1-year old is a pretty gymnastic experience in itself… but there’s more to it than that. I was eating meals in front of the TV, while working on my computer, while standing in the kitchen with a kid on one hip, which is just foolish. Enjoy your food, people. Pay attention to your food. Don’t multitask your food.
• I didn’t honor my appetite. This goes back to point #1 about getting hungry, but I’m also still nursing a baby… and she eats a LOT. I spent a good amount of time feeling frustrated that after eating what seemed like a completely reasonably sized meal, I was still hungry. That frustration would spiral into an overwhelming urge to snack on something Not Allowed. Then, after the cheat-y snack, the frustration would spiral into disgust that I had Cheated On My Diet. Followed by more snacking. It was a dark time, my friends. If I had it all to do over again (and believe me, the battle isn’t over), I’d smarten up about eating enough, and if it takes four helpings of REAL FOOD to satisfy, then that is what’s going to go down.
• Having slipped and slid off-track once, I allowed the slide to continue for days and days. It’s tough to reverse a slip while it’s happening, but had I enlisted some kind of outside help (I’m a big fan of the emergency phone call to a food support buddy when disaster is imminent) I suspect things would have gone differently.
• It’s not so much what you eat that can lead to sub-optimal body composition, and more why you eat. I made a list of reasons: stress, fatigue, worry, sadness, excitement, anticipation, sleep deprivation, boredom, uncertainty, celebration, anger, “it’s lunch/dinner/snack time”.You’ll notice hunger didn’t make the list. This will not do.

All things considered, I’d call Project Svelte an unequivocal failure. But I’m not too upset about it. I learned a lot, and will adjust my next approach accordingly. I’ll chalk this one up to an experiment in failing. Having failed this time, and noticing that the world has not imploded, maybe next time will be a less “all-or-nothing” experience.

Bonus Exciting Cliffhanger:

Big news is brewing in Recess!-town, my friends. Stay tuned for an announcement of epic proportions! Epic! Proportions! Announcement!

What’s Shakin’?

Oh goodness, this Saturday is going to be fun. To start things off, the Death Track Dolls will be gracing us with their inimitable presence at the 10:30 Recess! class, and then the ever-fashionable, eco-conscious, radder than rad Do. Crew (check out their facebook group) will be tearing it up at 11:30.

Are you kidding me? This will be more fun than sweet potato fries and ketchup. More fun than talking through a fan to make your voice sound like Darth Vader. More fun than watching a bully try to kick over your snowman, not realizing you built it over a fire hydrant. More fun than any singing cat video you’ve ever seen.

What’s Recess all about? Well, Recess is a games-based gymnastic/Parkour/high intensity interval class which will restore your youthful vitality, reignite your love of movement, and get you freakishly fit. Have I set the bar too high? Come try a class and find out. 213 Geary is where it’s at.

If you have questions, or would like to schedule a private or group session, email me (Liz) at marthadonkey at gmail dot com.

Monkey Doo

I blame the brownie man. After nine gloriously on-track days, I slipped and fell face-first into a tray of refined carbohydrates. I was the author of my own demise in a way… remember how I said I wouldn’t be going hungry? Well, I got busy, then peckish, then downright huuungry but didn’t do anything about it (see first excuse, “busy”). Getting hungry leads to Binge City (it’s like Sin City, but binge-ier) (also, fewer hookers). So yeah. It’s been a care-free, kick-up-your-heels kind of 48 hours, but as of 4pm today I’m back on the wagon.

Fall down seven times, get up eight, right?

Welcome to Meat Week, kiddos.

Exhibitionism Fail

I did it to myself. Yesterday morning I did rowing intervals and 100 burpees… and then ran around Monkey Vault for two hours. Today I am stiff, sore, RAVENOUS, and tiiired. Given the choice, I would have slept off the DOMS and appetite, but you see there’s this tiny gorilla I have to make sure doesn’t dismantle our house. I didn’t technically “cheat” today, in that there has been neither chocolate nor wine, but there has been a disastrous amount of almond butter (violating the whole no nuts thing… there’s a reason there’s a no nuts thing, because nuts are crack to me) and – gasp – fruit. So not the end of the world, but definitely way over my self-imposed limit of 50g of carbohydrates per day. Le sigh.

Tomorrow is a new day. In fact, tonight is a new dinner. So, protein. And a little IF to start the day tomorrow.

Exhibitionism Update

Here we are, noon on Day Four of Project Svelte (only one of its many names) and here’s what’s happened so far:

First thing in the morning, fasted metcon. The first two days were just rowing intervals so I could re-find my rowing technique (day 1 was 4x 500m, day 2 was 3k for time, day 4 was 250m, 25 burpees, times 4. Where’s day 3, you ask? Hush.). I’m surprised and delighted to find that I can row at a 1:57/500m pace at a 25 strokes/minute rate. I used to have to fling myself around at 32-40 strokes/min. There’s a FGB video out there somewhere where it looks like I’m trying to row the damn thing across the room. For any cardio junkies in the audience, please note that the morning metcons never last more than 20 minutes, but are an 8-9 out of 10 for intensity.

Don’t row in socks. You’ll get blisters from the foot rests.

Food: breakfast is eggs and back bacon, lunches have been chicken & greens either in salad or soup form, and dinners have been steak and broccoli. There’s some coconut milk in coffee from time to time, and I stole a prune from Etta yesterday… Silly move. To battle the resultant sugar cravings (and to avoid eating the BROWNIES that a certain husband made. BROWNIES. I say again BROWNIES) I had a bit of almond butter last night. I’ve only had one incidence of “brain fog” which was quickly dealt with by eating a whole whack of cucumber. Turns out my caffeine tolerance drops when I’m eating clean, too! I suspect coffee sends my insulin for a ride, but I’m not willing to give that up just yet.

Tally to date: no wine, no chocolate, no grains, no sugar, no potatoes, no beans. Feeling good.

Anybody out there working a similar plan?

Exhibitionism

Ok, here’s the deal: I got a (small) part in an (independent) film. Yay! I’m still 10 pounds over my pre-baby weight. Boo! So there’s some work to be done. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’ll be chronicling the process for the next three weeks on the off chance that one of you is in a similar situation (ie: big event coming, muffin top must go!).

The food:

Basically, I’ll be eating a low-carb, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, Paleo diet. Lean meats, green veggies, fats. And glorious, glorious coffee. What I WON’T be doing is going hungry. What I WILL be doing is ditching the chocolate and wine. (And nuts, because evidently they are crack). I’ll be posting a few sample menus and recipes in case you want to sing along.

The work:

Fasted metcon intervals 6 mornings a week. Just saying that makes me sad, but it’s not forever! I’ll be breaking in my new (to me) C2 rower. When I get sick of rowing, there might be some skipping or some long hikes with a small child strapped my chest. I’ll be using my own small child as opposed to borrowing one. For the hikes, not the skipping.

Strength every other day. Yep, that means that every other day I’ll be doing two workouts. Hello, DOMS, my old friend.

These are extreme measures, as I have a close deadline. I don’t plan to continue being this nutso for any longer than is necessary! Wish me luck, I’ll send postcards.