Um, hi. Remember me?

Hello, Internet people!

I’ve been absent (not because I love you any less), busy, and tired. Tired like beyond tired tired. So tired that using any adjective other than tired makes me… tired. Why, you ask? Why so… fatigued?

Well. It turns out that as kids get older, they get more mobile. Who knew?? With increased mobility comes increased germ exposure and immune system building yadda yadda. So the past months have looked something like: fine fine SICK fine SICK SICK fine SICK SICK SICK fine. For those of you keeping track, that’s more sicks than fines. All thanks to my little germ-ridden bundle of joy.

(For the record, she is a joy through and through. 18 months old and she does burpees. And can support her bodyweight hanging from a bar. And she does barbell snatches with a toy rolling pin. Squee!)

On to the “busy” half of “busy and tired”: Why so busy?

Well. It turns out that as gyms get older, they get more mobile. More clients means more work! Can’t we just fail quietly and then take a nap? Gah. But noooo, (and now it’s bragging time), instead of napping we published a video that got picked up by places like Mark’s Daily Apple and MovNat.com, generating over ten thousand views.

We’re also in the process of renewing our natural movement selves. Greg just returned from the MovNat Expansion Course in West Virginia with Erwan LeCorre. We’re building new equipment all the time (hello, climbing wall! Hello, battling ropes!). Erwan himself will be joining us in September to spread the love. We bought half a cow from BeaverVale Farms and the lucky ones who got shares will be picking up their bounty this week. We’re starting a brand new Eat REAL Challenge this Saturday. We now carry VitaCoco Coconut Water.

We’ve been busy. Life is good.

We Have a Winner!!

Ladies and Gentlemen… May I present the one, the only, the lovely winner of the StrengthBox/Death Track Dolls (go see them play next Saturday) Eat REAL Challenge: Janimal Downright Dirty Dawson!!

Jan improved her baseline workout time by over 12%, earning her the title of Total Asskicker of the World… and she is also the recipient of a month of free training at StrengthBox!

A while back I put the Dolls through a brief but intense workout, noted their times, and told them to give up all the foods they love (grains, sugar, dairy) and focus on REAL nutrition (meat, fish, eggs, veggies, nuts, seeds, fruit) in the name of athletic amazingness. For a whole month. I encountered some pushback, as you may imagine… but in the end, those who stuck it out saw some incredible improvements in strength and speed, not to mention hawtness. When we repeated the workout at the end of the challenge, I was damn impressed with my derby ladies. Intrigued? Check us out. Are you up for a challenge?

Cheat on Your Cheats

Why do people cheat? Whether it’s on their diets, on exams, on partners… it’s likely because they’re not getting what they want or need (yumminess, good grades, emotional support). So if you’re eating clean but the sugar beast has you in its grasp and you just… can’t… resist… consider this:

Eating treats does some wackadoo chemical things to your brain. It feels good. Serotonin happiness, brief energy boost, etc. You know this, you know your craving is probably based in something other than hunger. Are you bored, and munching is something to pass the time? Are you tired and feel like you need a little pick-me-up? Get this: you can cheat your cheat. You can get EXACTLY the same chemical payoff by way of an endorphin rush by moving your body.

I know, I know, it sounds less fun and more effort-ful to move around than to chow down the chocolate… but try this for a week. Whenever you find yourself reaching for comfort by way of snacks -

(Side note: I’m not talking about when you’re hungry. When you’re hungry, eat real food.)

- whenever you’re heading down the mindless munching path, set a timer for 10 minutes and DO SOMETHING ELSE. Burpees, pushups, squats, high knees running, jumping jacks, any combination of any series of movements you can think of as long as it makes you huff and puff. Work up a little sweat. Then if you still want the comfort-y food, eat it. I bet it’ll be easier to walk away once you’ve fulfilled your own need for endorphins.

Bonus: you get to walk around feeling all high-and-mighty when you’ve defeated the cheat-monster. You get to be “that guy”, telling your friends how you avoided the cookie by doing pushups. You get to watch your friends slowly back away. Then two weeks later when they ask why you’re looking so freaking awesome, you get to say “remember, the pushups and the cookie and and and?” and then you get to say “I TOLD YOU SO!” which is sweeter than any damn cookie.

Chicken Soup

This is so easy it ought to be criminal.

Roast a quartered chicken (I used a happy, free-range, organic chicken from The Healthy Butcher) at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, then broil for 5 minutes to crispify the skin. If you want, sprinkle some coarse sea salt and a spice rub on the skin first. Yummo.

Take all the meat off the bones and dice it, then put the bones in a stock pot and add water to cover.

What? You want to add an onion? Garlic? I didn’t, but you can.

Boil the hell out of it for an hour or more… I bring it to a boil in the morning, leave it simmering during breakfast, turn of the heat then bring it back up to a boil at night.

Grab some clean glass almond butter jars, and fill each about halfway with diced chicken, then fill the other half with fresh or frozen chopped spinach (or chard, or bok choy, or rapini… I won’t judge your choices). Ladle hot broth in to about an inch below the edge of the jar. Sprinkle in some salt, wheat free soy sauce, or lemon juice. Screw the lid on and stick it in the freezer.

Wala! A perfectly Paleo, low carb, deeeelish frozen dinner for some chilly evening when you have no time to cook. Just pop the top off and stick the jar in the microwave.

Exhibitionism Update

Here we are, noon on Day Four of Project Svelte (only one of its many names) and here’s what’s happened so far:

First thing in the morning, fasted metcon. The first two days were just rowing intervals so I could re-find my rowing technique (day 1 was 4x 500m, day 2 was 3k for time, day 4 was 250m, 25 burpees, times 4. Where’s day 3, you ask? Hush.). I’m surprised and delighted to find that I can row at a 1:57/500m pace at a 25 strokes/minute rate. I used to have to fling myself around at 32-40 strokes/min. There’s a FGB video out there somewhere where it looks like I’m trying to row the damn thing across the room. For any cardio junkies in the audience, please note that the morning metcons never last more than 20 minutes, but are an 8-9 out of 10 for intensity.

Don’t row in socks. You’ll get blisters from the foot rests.

Food: breakfast is eggs and back bacon, lunches have been chicken & greens either in salad or soup form, and dinners have been steak and broccoli. There’s some coconut milk in coffee from time to time, and I stole a prune from Etta yesterday… Silly move. To battle the resultant sugar cravings (and to avoid eating the BROWNIES that a certain husband made. BROWNIES. I say again BROWNIES) I had a bit of almond butter last night. I’ve only had one incidence of “brain fog” which was quickly dealt with by eating a whole whack of cucumber. Turns out my caffeine tolerance drops when I’m eating clean, too! I suspect coffee sends my insulin for a ride, but I’m not willing to give that up just yet.

Tally to date: no wine, no chocolate, no grains, no sugar, no potatoes, no beans. Feeling good.

Anybody out there working a similar plan?

Exhibitionism

Ok, here’s the deal: I got a (small) part in an (independent) film. Yay! I’m still 10 pounds over my pre-baby weight. Boo! So there’s some work to be done. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I’ll be chronicling the process for the next three weeks on the off chance that one of you is in a similar situation (ie: big event coming, muffin top must go!).

The food:

Basically, I’ll be eating a low-carb, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, Paleo diet. Lean meats, green veggies, fats. And glorious, glorious coffee. What I WON’T be doing is going hungry. What I WILL be doing is ditching the chocolate and wine. (And nuts, because evidently they are crack). I’ll be posting a few sample menus and recipes in case you want to sing along.

The work:

Fasted metcon intervals 6 mornings a week. Just saying that makes me sad, but it’s not forever! I’ll be breaking in my new (to me) C2 rower. When I get sick of rowing, there might be some skipping or some long hikes with a small child strapped my chest. I’ll be using my own small child as opposed to borrowing one. For the hikes, not the skipping.

Strength every other day. Yep, that means that every other day I’ll be doing two workouts. Hello, DOMS, my old friend.

These are extreme measures, as I have a close deadline. I don’t plan to continue being this nutso for any longer than is necessary! Wish me luck, I’ll send postcards.

Armpits and Sugar

I saw this in the comments over at PaNu:

I have noticed substantially less absolute need for personal hygeine with paleo or at least VLC eating. I have stopped using deodorant completely. My shirts could easily be worn several days in a row before washing. On VLC the glucose in your sweat, sebum, etc must be much lower. Less sugar – less bacteria.

And at the risk of oversharing… I have to agree! I used to think stinky sweat was due to the amount of coffee in my life, but found when eating super clean (meat, fat, green veggies, nuts and seeds, in that order; no sugar, grains, or dairy) I could drown myself in caffeine and not get smelly. Jittery, yes. Smelly, no. (I’ll talk about the caffeine-insulin-cortisol trifecta in a later post.) Curse you, sugar! You make my armpits reek!

Yet another reason to avoid the stuff.