Cheat on Your Cheats

Why do people cheat? Whether it’s on their diets, on exams, on partners… it’s likely because they’re not getting what they want or need (yumminess, good grades, emotional support). So if you’re eating clean but the sugar beast has you in its grasp and you just… can’t… resist… consider this:

Eating treats does some wackadoo chemical things to your brain. It feels good. Serotonin happiness, brief energy boost, etc. You know this, you know your craving is probably based in something other than hunger. Are you bored, and munching is something to pass the time? Are you tired and feel like you need a little pick-me-up? Get this: you can cheat your cheat. You can get EXACTLY the same chemical payoff by way of an endorphin rush by moving your body.

I know, I know, it sounds less fun and more effort-ful to move around than to chow down the chocolate… but try this for a week. Whenever you find yourself reaching for comfort by way of snacks -

(Side note: I’m not talking about when you’re hungry. When you’re hungry, eat real food.)

- whenever you’re heading down the mindless munching path, set a timer for 10 minutes and DO SOMETHING ELSE. Burpees, pushups, squats, high knees running, jumping jacks, any combination of any series of movements you can think of as long as it makes you huff and puff. Work up a little sweat. Then if you still want the comfort-y food, eat it. I bet it’ll be easier to walk away once you’ve fulfilled your own need for endorphins.

Bonus: you get to walk around feeling all high-and-mighty when you’ve defeated the cheat-monster. You get to be “that guy”, telling your friends how you avoided the cookie by doing pushups. You get to watch your friends slowly back away. Then two weeks later when they ask why you’re looking so freaking awesome, you get to say “remember, the pushups and the cookie and and and?” and then you get to say “I TOLD YOU SO!” which is sweeter than any damn cookie.

Recess! Redux

This Saturday’s Recess! was a blast and a half. The Death Track Dolls kicked major butt in a tough circuit workout, then still had enough gas in the tank for a vicious plank-off! The 11:30 class brought us The Do. Crew, and after conquering the climbing wall and stairs they performed admirably in the team challenge… and finally, points were awarded for style as they leaped into the Foam Pit of Doom!

Next Saturday will find us goofing around and getting real strong in the process… come check us out, won’t you? Recess! at The Monkey Vault, 213 Geary Avenue happens on Saturday at 10:30am and 11:30am. Can’t come at that time but have a group you want to rile up? Email me at marthadonkey at gmail dot com.

Recess #2

Recess is now on Saturdays at 10:30 and 11:30! Come to The Monkey Vault at 213 Geary Avenue and see what all the fuss is about…

This week at Recess we climbed a rope ladder, learned how to do Jackie Chan-style parkour tricks, and played with throwing and catching… and then the brave, brave Death Track Dolls requested an ass-kicking. Five short (long) minutes later, I think everyone agreed that an ass-kicking had indeed been delivered. Don’t think Recess is all fluff and no substance! You may not notice how much work you’re doing because it’s all about the fun, but Recess will mold you into a lean, mean, fighting machine if you give it a go.

Throwing and catching

Stair crawling

Balancing…

The calm before the storm

Exhibitionism Fail

I did it to myself. Yesterday morning I did rowing intervals and 100 burpees… and then ran around Monkey Vault for two hours. Today I am stiff, sore, RAVENOUS, and tiiired. Given the choice, I would have slept off the DOMS and appetite, but you see there’s this tiny gorilla I have to make sure doesn’t dismantle our house. I didn’t technically “cheat” today, in that there has been neither chocolate nor wine, but there has been a disastrous amount of almond butter (violating the whole no nuts thing… there’s a reason there’s a no nuts thing, because nuts are crack to me) and – gasp – fruit. So not the end of the world, but definitely way over my self-imposed limit of 50g of carbohydrates per day. Le sigh.

Tomorrow is a new day. In fact, tonight is a new dinner. So, protein. And a little IF to start the day tomorrow.

Exhibitionism Update

Here we are, noon on Day Four of Project Svelte (only one of its many names) and here’s what’s happened so far:

First thing in the morning, fasted metcon. The first two days were just rowing intervals so I could re-find my rowing technique (day 1 was 4x 500m, day 2 was 3k for time, day 4 was 250m, 25 burpees, times 4. Where’s day 3, you ask? Hush.). I’m surprised and delighted to find that I can row at a 1:57/500m pace at a 25 strokes/minute rate. I used to have to fling myself around at 32-40 strokes/min. There’s a FGB video out there somewhere where it looks like I’m trying to row the damn thing across the room. For any cardio junkies in the audience, please note that the morning metcons never last more than 20 minutes, but are an 8-9 out of 10 for intensity.

Don’t row in socks. You’ll get blisters from the foot rests.

Food: breakfast is eggs and back bacon, lunches have been chicken & greens either in salad or soup form, and dinners have been steak and broccoli. There’s some coconut milk in coffee from time to time, and I stole a prune from Etta yesterday… Silly move. To battle the resultant sugar cravings (and to avoid eating the BROWNIES that a certain husband made. BROWNIES. I say again BROWNIES) I had a bit of almond butter last night. I’ve only had one incidence of “brain fog” which was quickly dealt with by eating a whole whack of cucumber. Turns out my caffeine tolerance drops when I’m eating clean, too! I suspect coffee sends my insulin for a ride, but I’m not willing to give that up just yet.

Tally to date: no wine, no chocolate, no grains, no sugar, no potatoes, no beans. Feeling good.

Anybody out there working a similar plan?

Context

MovNat is all about how movement becomes “natural movement” primarily because of its context. Taken out of context, a burpee is just a burpee (yay burpees!). While they’re certainly an effective calisthenic bodyweight exercise, one might find oneself asking why the hell one is doing so many damn burpees when one is, say, halfway through Pukie Brewster (that’s 150 burpees for time, for the uninitiated). In the context of falling down and getting up as fast as possible to escape a threat, burpees make a lot more sense. Dare I say it also makes them more fun? Context defines pretty much everything we do… when you see someone who usually makes your morning americano at your favorite cafe, but they’re at the grocery store, it can be tough to pin down why they look so familiar. If you’ve ever had a truly mind-blowing meal, it probably wasn’t just about the meal… after all, the steak you eat after a day of heavy yard work or snowshoeing isn’t the same steak you eat after a day of surfing the net.