Fear is no fun. As adults, we encounter fear surrounding financial security, social acceptance… Rarely does it take the form of “if I jump across this 7 foot pit, will I make it?”
I recommend making a date with this brand of fear. It has the potential to reveal things to you about yourself that maybe you’ve been sitting on. If you don’t commit to the jump, you won’t make it. You have to decide before you leap that you’re going to land safely on the other side. In fact, it’s not enough to just decide this, you have to know it. Also, strong ankles help with the landing part.
Kids are fearless about climbing, running, falling down, but I think part of that fearlessness comes from repeated exposure to climbing, running, and falling down. The more times you fall down and it doesn’t end the world, the less freaked out you’ll be about falling again. Climbing becomes less scary as you gain confidence in your grip and coordination. I hate climbing. It makes me all sweaty and shaky and unsure. But if I keep doing it, that fear will recede as my skill grows, and then there will be more room for the fun.
I’m keeping this in mind as I lay Project Svelte to rest for the moment… the first days of shooting have come and gone on the film I was preparing for, and lo and behold I am not the lean mean fighting machine I’d hoped to become by now. In fact, I gained two pounds. What?? I know. I was just as shocked as you. “But… meat and veg and healthy fat… ketogenic diet… low carb is the answer… fasted metcons… how the hell did you screw it up??”
Gather round, kids. Here’s what happened:
- I know I said I wouldn’t, but I got hungry. Being hungry is a fact of Intermittent Fasting, and there’s nothing wrong with experiencing some hunger from time to time. I actually think it’s a good idea to feel hungry sometimes… but I got hungry and then didn’t eat enough of the good stuff to satisfy. I ate moderate amounts of meat and veg and fat, and then when I was still hungry I didn’t eat more meat and veg and fat, I turned to sugar. I’m not sure how the disconnect happened, but my brain decided that protein wasn’t doing the trick and that the answer to life, the universe, and everything lay in a foil wrapper with the words “Green & Black’s” printed on the outside.
- I didn’t sit down for meals. This is partly because eating with a 1-year old is a pretty gymnastic experience in itself… but there’s more to it than that. I was eating meals in front of the TV, while working on my computer, while standing in the kitchen with a kid on one hip, which is just foolish. Enjoy your food, people. Pay attention to your food. Don’t multitask your food.
- I didn’t honor my appetite. This goes back to point #1 about getting hungry, but I’m also still nursing a baby… and she eats a LOT. I spent a good amount of time feeling frustrated that after eating what seemed like a completely reasonably sized meal, I was still hungry. That frustration would spiral into an overwhelming urge to snack on something Not Allowed. Then, after the cheat-y snack, the frustration would spiral into disgust that I had Cheated On My Diet. Followed by more snacking. It was a dark time, my friends. If I had it all to do over again (and believe me, the battle isn’t over), I’d smarten up about eating enough, and if it takes four helpings of REAL FOOD to satisfy, then that is what’s going to go down.
- Having slipped and slid off-track once, I allowed the slide to continue for days and days. It’s tough to reverse a slip while it’s happening, but had I enlisted some kind of outside help (I’m a big fan of the emergency phone call to a food support buddy when disaster is imminent) I suspect things would have gone differently.
- It’s not so much what you eat that can lead to sub-optimal body composition, and more why you eat. I made a list of reasons: stress, fatigue, worry, sadness, excitement, anticipation, sleep deprivation, boredom, uncertainty, celebration, anger, “it’s lunch/dinner/snack time”.You’ll notice hunger didn’t make the list. This will not do.
All things considered, I’d call Project Svelte an unequivocal failure. But I’m not too upset about it. I learned a lot, and will adjust my next approach accordingly. I’ll chalk this one up to an experiment in failing. Having failed this time, and noticing that the world has not imploded, maybe next time will be a less “all-or-nothing” experience.
Bonus Exciting Cliffhanger:
Big news is brewing in Recess!-town, my friends. Stay tuned for an announcement of epic proportions! Epic! Proportions! Announcement!
